cover image for Come As You Are

Come As You Are

Emily Nagoski

8/10
Different ways to think about sex, with amazing insight.
  • Think of arousal as an accelerator (things that excite you) and a brakes (things that stress/distract you). People have different sensitivity on each and different things trigger each for different people
  • Context is everything
  • Expecting/anticipating, eagerness/wanting and enjoying/liking are 3 separate things that can exist in any combination with or without one another
  • If you're stressed, can do a few things to help, (exercise/dance, primal scream or crying, meditate or do yoga, something relaxing like a shower, massage, nails etc)
  • You can learn to find certain things more arousing and learn to find other things as less of a turn off
  • nonconcordance: your body can respond as if aroused even if you aren't mentally and vice versa
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