Four Thousand Weeks

we only get this life and it's inherently flawed and will never be perfect (Limited control, limited time, fear of failure, emotional uncertainty of relationships). Must accept this and not attempt flutily to try and fundamental change it.

• trying to constantly be more productive can be just an attempt to create more confidence ) eliminate fear / gain control. This can't possibly work

you cant do everything, so you shouldn't try. But that does mean you have to make hard choices about what dreams and standards to let go of.

• hard choices and confronting limitations.

you will never feel on tops of things. Goal posts will shift. (People will give you more if you're good), people aren't satisfied with stuff people's standard rise.

• productivity is a trap, being more efficient makes you more rushed and trying to clear the deck just makes it fill up faster
• the more you try and manage, the worse it typically gets

need to live at peace with the decks stacked and ever growing and focus on the the important thing

• small fake urgent things, need to be ignored for the real important things. They will consume everything otherwise.
• They will be oh, let me get this out of the way so I can dedicate real focused time to the important thing. And then by tomorrow their will a dozen more

convenient things, can sometimes remove things that are important (human interaction, satisfying friction/effort)

not depression that life isn't infinite but an appreciation that it exists as all. (My friend is dead. I wonder what he would have given to be able to be stuck in this traffic)

if you could do everything, nothing would have any meaning (heaven would be boring). Your life scarcity gives you meaning

pay yourself first with your time, make time every day to do the most important thing and do it first. Other things will probably drop and you have to be okay with that

limit your works in progress. No more than 3. Can abandon projects, just no tons of half finished projects.

can't just say no to things you don't want to do. But actively say no to things you do want to do in recognition that you only have one life

settling is good. Imaginary people can be infinitely crazy good, even contradictory (exciting and stable)

• the fantasy, of being to live out ever tantalizing future perfectly causes procrastination, because as long as it isn't real it can be perfect without compromise.
• when people choose in an irreversible way, people tend to be happier

you can't truly care about something without the ability to pay attention to it.

• squandering your attention is literally giving away your life. Distraction is an unconscious failure of that.
• internet is a temptation machine to take your attention for things you don't really care about
• internet changes your perception via news and echo chambers and such

focus on the present by doing something painful and paying deep attention to the pain (which ironically makes it less painful)

boredom can manifest in confronting your limited control over your life and situation.

Must expect you have limited control over life and you can do things right but still not achieve what you wanted. Resign yourself to the idea that discomfort is part of this life

Worry is the weird feeling of trying to get security/guarantees about the future ad infinitum. this is stupid, anything can happen

• you can't possess or bring time under your control.

you can influence you future, but you can't ever feel certain about your outcomes. Never. You must accept.

the odds that you are you are basically infinitesimal. Your life as it is now hinges on a heap of random coincidences. That being said everything is fine so maybe some comfort in that everything will continue to be fine

planning is meaningful. We just like to pretend it's something it's not, guaranteed

• (You should try to influence but can't demand expectation) no need to have things unfold as you expected.

Using time as a means to an end, is bad. Because you can be trying to live in the future that will never exist. Not being present. The present is only useful for the future kinda idea.

• Once I accomplish X I'll be better or feel good or whatever. Flawed mindset and there will always be something like that
• instrumentalism of time, making it an instrument to achieve other things. Take away meaning from time. Also just makes it a vehicle for a better time in the future ad infinitum

paradoxically you can try to hard to be present in the same way you can try to hard to fall asleep

Pressure to be productive in your relaxation. Relaxation is only useful for helping with work as a problem. And can start to feel like work

• you should intentionally waste some time off because if it's all for productivity or efficiency or work or the future you aren't really living
• increasingly people struggle to not work.
• idea that this is it, and you can't be running towards something better
• a little embarrassing is ideal for a hobby so you know you aren't doing it for social pressure reasons.
• also good to be pretty mediocre at it (another sign it's genuinely play). There is no hope of ever gaining acclaim or money
• to impatient to read. Can't make it faster really
• staying busy like an alcoholic, to avoid emotions/experience

problems aren't an impediment they are the substance of a meaningful life

radical incrementalism, 10 minutes to 4 hours a day. Always take weekends. Is more sustainable, you will actually enjoy it.

• stop at the end even if you have energy when you said you will. This strengthening your patience muscle.

connection is what makes time valuable, having a lot of time and freedom isn't that useful without friends to spend it with and worthwhile things to engage with.

• time is something to share, even if it means slightly less control

cosmic insignificance therapy. Your life is so tiny in the scale of the universe that it is near indistinguishable from nothing. Meaning your anxiety and fears aren't nearly as important as they seem to you.

• don't expect yourself to put a dent in the universe, so don't worry if you can't do it.

Litmus Test Questions

• where are you pursing comfort where meaning would actual require you to pursue discomfort.

• choose uncomfortable enlargement over comfortable diminishment for you soul (is intuitive)

• are you holding yourself to or judging yourself by impossible standards to meet. (Impossible to spend 'enough time' on something, impossible to meet an unlimited number of demands)

  • if you knew this was true what would you change

• in what ways have you yet to accept who you are instead of who you want to be

• in what areas of life are you still holding back until you feel like you know what you're doing

• how would you spend your days differently if you didn't care so much about seeing your actions see fruition. Journey over destination

More tactics

• fixed volume. Have a 2 to-do lists one with everything and one with a fixed number of entries 10 at most. Where you drag anything over until something on the other end is done.
• time boundaries, blank to blank hours and no more.
• serialize, 1 project at a time. Don't do more than 1 thing at once. Get better with the anxiety of dealing with only one thing and others looming
• decide what to fail at. Nominate areas of life where you want to under achieve (no shame), lawn or kitchen or such. Cyclical neglect. Ignore exercise for 2 months while you do X, then re prioritize
• focus on what you've already completed not just what's left to do.
• consolidate your caring, social media wants you to care about tooooo many things. Pick a thing or 2 and be done
• embrace boring and single purpose tech. Tech is tantalizing because it offers escape to always interesting BS. Delete social media and turn to gray scale.
• seek out novelty in the mundane,
• be a researcher in relationships, for a challenging or boring moment adopt curiosity to try and figure out who this person is.
• cultivate instentatious generosity. When you think of something generous just do it now. People tend not to due to a notion that we'll get around to it later when the time allows (this is an illusion and better to just do it now because it's likely you won't otherwise)
• practice doing nothing. If your uncomfortable doing nothing your quite likely to do something stupid just to get away from the discomfort of nothing.