Meditations for Mortals

Intro

• how much easier it is to do bold and important things when you accept that you will only ever get around to a few of them
• Liberating to stop hiding flaws
• Liberating to recognize that your greatest difficulties might never be resolved
• your limitations aren't obstacles to a meaningful existence, but accepting and stepping into them is how you build a more meaningful life
• there is a constant desperate game of catch up going on to try and get ones life together while feeling both constantly overwhelmed and further and further behind
• people feel like they can and should gain more control over life. You can't control things
• always understand you only have influence on your life not control

Being finite

• an overwhelming to-do list
  • problem isn't that you have too much to do and not enough time, but an infinite amount to do / that you want to do.
  • realizing that this is not really hard but literally impossible causes a mindset shift. Committing to getting soaked in the rain rather than trying to cling to staying dry.
    • giving up is freeing
• denying the truth of the situation doesn't change it

On actually doing things

• we are in a kayak but it's nice to dream of being in a super yatch.
  • we are vulnerable and we wish to be large and in control
• what's 1 thing you'd actually be willing to do today that would constitute a good enough use of your finite time
• don't worry about what's best to do. This is super yatch thinking and honestly just moving in a direction is plenty
• do it once with no guarantee you'll ever do it again

You need only pay the consequences - on paying the price

• you can do whatever you want, you need only face the consequences
• the only question is what the price is and whether or not it's worth paying
• You could stay in a bad relationship or leave. Decades of unhappiness or the pain of hurting yourself and someone else and alienating some friends. There is no painless option coming. But you can choose what pain you want
• if not responding to an email creates a tiny irritation for someone else or you inlaws disapprove of your parenting.
  • the real response might be, so what?
• I can't relax if I don't clean up after the kids first.
  • of course you can. No one is coming to judge your house. What are the consequences? A less than constantly pure home
• often one exaggerates a choices consequences to ones self
• there is a secret comfort to telling yourself their are no options, because it's easier to wallow in the bad faith of believing your trapped than face the dissying responsibilities of your freedom

Against productivity debt - the power of a done list

• this idea that every day you gain a debt against the universe you must pay off in order to justify existing
• keep a done list instead of of a to-do list that you can watch grow with satisfaction
  • comparison is better rather than looking at what you have left to do to earn your right to live
  • you look at what you've accomplished compared to having done nothing at all

Too much information - on the art of reading vs not reading

• backlog of sooo many things you need to read
• going faster is just rushing and doesn't help
• try thinking of to read pile as a river instead of of a bucket.
• don't let note taking make reading into too much of a chore. If taking notes is stopping it from being possible. Stop taking notes.
• reading is a present moment activity, do something for the sake of doing something

You can't care about everything - on staying sane when the world is a mess

• pick your battles and don't feel guilty about doing so
• you don't have to care about everything, pick a few things and care deeper

Let the future be the future - on crossing bridges when you come to them

• worry is trying to think of everything that might happen and trying to figure out how to get around every scenario.
  • this is impossible, because you cannot thing of everything
  • also we really want to know we've made it which is impossible to know also
• devote less energy into trying to control the future and more faith in your ability to deal with things in the future
• also note that lots of worry scenarios never even come to pass

Decision hunting - on choosing a path through the woods

• taking imperfect action
• hunt for decisions to make to get unstick
• Often people stay in a state of looking for more knowledge rather than making a decision.
  • This postponement is comfortable because it means you aren't locked in
• make a small decision instead, something that interfaces with real life to make progress.
  • has to discard alternatives by its existance
• should be small
  • all big things are a consequence of many tiny decisions
  • you might always only be able to see to the ends of your headlights, but you can make the whole journey that way.

Finish things, on the magic of completion

• people like imagining things as idea which is how you are when you start a project. Finishing is harder because you have to come to terms with what it became in all its imperfection
• but finishing things gives you energy and a good feeling so you should do it
• try and think of things in small parts as to be finished items

Look for the life task - on what reality wants

• doing something hard, that pushes your life forward and helps you grow.
• moving forward / challenge something uncomfortable to

Just go to the shed - on befriending what you fear

• people ignore things that make them anxious. (Not going to the DR for fear that pain in your side is something serious)
• this causes more time in a bad place basically
• befriend the rat. Transform your relationship by accepting your situation as already a part of your reality
  • should then turn into a fluffy little sheep that follows you around
• visualize your self going there, and just commit to being in the space with the issue. Then the solutions and first steps will present themselves

Rules that serve life - on doing things daily ish

• daily ish
• commit to imperfect progress
• a rule can't doesn't force action and can't force you to live how you feel you should
• the point isn't for your life to serve rules, the point is for rules to serve your life
• ie if a system or set of rules or practices isn't actually helping your quality of life. Throw it out or adapt it until it is

3 hour - on finding focus on the chaos

• knowledge work, means ideally 3 hours of focused work per day only.
• you need to bring willing to stop and relax despite unfinished work, so you can eventually finish it

Develop a taste for problems - on never reaching the trouble free phase

• people subconsciously believe they're moving towards a time when they will somehow have no problems
• if you can accept this you can really dive into your problems. And aspire for interesting problems rather than no problems

What if this were easy - on the false allure of effort

• a willingness to not cultivate things through effort but let them happen on their own
• traditional model is, meaningful action takes effort. And all the self help says you're the kinda person who needs pushing and prodding to do them. You're always in a state of anxiously and painfully trying to put in extra effort to make things meaningful
• this promotes you not doing easy things because of they're easy they can't be meaningful. Which is obviously false but tricks you into ignoring the easy things that would be meaningful
  • alternatively they might feel like because they seem meaningful they will take tons of effort. And an easy task became hard because of your viewpoint and psychology
• can also tricky you into thinking that because it took effort, it was meaningful. Which is also not true
• ask what if this is a lot easier than I think it is?
• just tell yourself it's going to be easy
  • remind yourself to not over think it / add complications and not do unpleasant exertion
  • don't spook yourself with assumptions about how hard it will be

The reverse golden rule - on not being your own worst enemy

• treat yourself kindly,
• basically think about how someone saying what you say to yourself would look like to you. Probably somewhat insane
• consider not doing what you "should do" today and doing what you want to do instead.
• break the pattern of being your own task master / drill sergeant and screaming at yourself to do what you "should be doing"

Don't standing in generosity's way - on the futility of becoming a better person

• you probably are already a person who aspires to be better in some way.
• likely what's happening is you want to be a better person optimally. Oh I don't want to donate until I've done my research and found the best organization.
• act on a generous impulses, without over thinking

Allow other people their problems - on minding your own business

• fear of other people disliking you
• ultimately, other people's negative emotions are a problem that belongs to them and you have to allow other people their problems
• let things be
• fools errand to make your sense of being okay, dependent on everyone around you being okay.
• ironically people pleading isn't even that effective

A good time or a good story, on the upside of unpredictability

• a good time or a good story.
• unpredictability can create some awesome stuff sometimes which is pretty cool

Set a quantity goal - on firing your inner quality controller

• quality is your brain trying to prevent you from ideas that are embarrassing or stupid or will cause you harm. Quantity overrides this, which is good

What's an interruption anyways - on the importance of staying distractible

• small impromptu moments are what life's all about
  • trying to eliminate the explicitly, creates a dynamic where you see them as bad things
• label distractions neutrally and then engage in it

Stop being so kind to future you - on entering time and space completely

• pursue goals and feel alive and in the moment. Don't postpone the aliveness for if or when they're achieved
• problems when
  • you never commit to relationships (keeping options open, which is a choice that eliminates some options)
  • take too much of the present for the future. Delayed gratification to an extreme
• don't wait to be immersed in life / relaxed until you've reached a never reachable success
• there's no prize for who accumulates the most uneaten marshmallows over their life. Sometimes to enjoy yourself, just eat the damn marshmallo

How to start from Sanity - on paying yourself first

• don't work towards where you are / who you want to be. (This entrenched you in the attitude that it's far away)
• instead act from who you want to be immediately and think of yourself like that
• spend sometime actually doing the thing right away (pay yourself first now)
  • rather than saying you'll do that thing your really passionate about when life finishes calming down or you finish getting enough done
  • clearing the decks is never possible
• tactics
  • if a deck isn't clear, separate it from everything else to give yourself a clean slate, and either chip away at that deck day by day or forget about it entirely
  • free up time by renegotiating existing commitments not just commiting to fewer in the future
  • to-do list as a menu

Scruffy hospitality - on finding connection in the flaws

• dont wait for everything in your house to be in order before hosting friends
  • subtly discourages you from hosting because it seems like a lot of work
• let others see your life for what it really is
• be honest about your failures and struggles
• everyone is messed up on the inside. This is freeing because we're all the same

You can't hoard life - on letting life pass

• if you try and hold on harder to a moment and get more out of it than you can. It will ultimately backfire and cheapen the moment

Inconceivable - on the solace of doubt

• we really want to understand what's going on before taking action
• but what problems could you take action on without completely understand that would still be useful
• joy needs to be found in the middle of the confusion and mystery

People did that - On giving it a shot

• if something exists, people did that. Impressive though it may be.
• you are people and can make or contribute to that
• recognizes your finitude first, then dedicate to something
• you can just go for things, the quote on quote impossibility is not issue
• you can kinda make things up as you go.
• scientology is an improvised religion
• you'll never know what you're doing, but no one ever does and so long as that doesn't both you much that isn't an issue.

What matters - on finding your way

• relaxing, to know you are a spec in the universe and the universe will continue to go on if you just stop or die
• little things can be meaningful