Radical Candor

Radically candid relationships

• there is emotional labor in being a good boss

• feeling like a baby sitter or shrink is okay

• bosses guide a team to achieve results

• build relationships with direct reports

  • developing trust,

    • give a damn about them as human beings
    • real feedback, real praise
    • your honest opinion / perspective and the honest asking for theirs, with room for either of you to be wrong

  • don't feel superior

• you want to be able to challenge others and have them challenge you

• be comfortable with people being angry with you

• acknowledge others hurt feelings

• offer to help fix the problems

• through and sincere compliments

• gentle but direct criticism

  • then more direct, but not personalized to you. You sound stupid not you are stupid
  • useful suggestions / real willingness to help
  • it's clear that you love your dog, but that dog will die if you don't teach it to sit. It's not mean, it's clear
  • meaningful praises is specific
  • point out whatever could be better even when you win

• you should be humble,

• you should genuinely try to understand what they're doing.

• criticism in private

• don't be insincere, just to be liked or to try and make things easier

• start with explain to others, ask for criticism, then start with praise, the criticism

  • you are aware you're often wrong and want to hear about it

• need to call out bad work, explain why it's bad, help person course correct Know what motivates each person, help them take steps in the direction of their dreams

• know how job fits into life goals

• don't promote people who want to do their roles, they are your rocks

• promote and challenge those who want it

• bosses job is to enable other to do their best work Fair performance ratings

• top ratings for rock solid stars - recognize them and leverage their best abilities You want people to leave and grow if that's what's best for you

Get help from those who have fired before you fire

You'll know it's time when everyone on the team is mad about them because they eat up their time with incompetence, and you've tried to help them and it just hasn't gone anywhere

Lots of things can happen to cause temporary poor performance

• new role that requires skills you don't have
• New role that is inherently more boring
• new role that takes time to ramp up on
• projecting your competencies onto someone who doesn't have all of them
• personal life issues
• Cultural misfit

Involve your team in decision making, explain why after and convince people it was a good decision

Get stuff done wheel

• listen
• Clarify
• Debate
• Decide
• Persuade
• execute
• Learn

Quiet listener vs loud listeners

• quiet listeners, will do so expressionless so as not to bias others, and make space for quiet people to talk
• loud listeners, will invite others to challenge them and demonstrate that it's okay, in fact encouraged to do so
• both will make some people uncomfortable for different reasons

Creating listening between others

• system for feedback

• address some things quickly

• give status / reasoning on why others aren't being addressed

• push people to clarify their ideas

• show people that you're taking action

• if you disagree ask to think about it and have a follow up meeting later.

  • then explain exactly what you think you're wrong and make is a real discussion Be humble

• in situation, you did x action and created this outcome

• preamble

  • I'm going to describe a problem, I may be wrong and if I am I hope you tell me. If I'm right I hope my contributing will help fix it

• do it right away and fast, only not if people are in bad state outside reasons. Only 3 minutes fast

• Praise in public, criticism in private

• I think that's wrong over you're wrong

• listen, challenge, commit

Gender and discrimination in the work place

• examples

  • males can get flames for giving relevant feedback to females
  • females may be told to be more generally likable (because as a women you need to be loud to be heard)

• fixing ideas

  • male -> don't pull your punches and be honest. Ask them for feedback and give them context
  • women -> demand criticism
  • think about if things would be different if the genders were reversed
  • be specific
  • don't use gender specific language

• formal performance review

  • should have no surprises, feedback should be regular in nature thus facilitating this

  • get some feedback from others

    • can be as simple as plus, neutral, minus, with potential follow up.

  • let them review you first, to make it a convo

• skip level meeting,

  • talk to their direct reports
  • set context for helping the manager
  • ask for both praise and criticism
  • say that no attributions will be made (all anonymous)
  • criticism will be shared immediately
  • work with manager, with creating small direct meaningful changes.
  • Have them send email about what they're going to do differently
  • with a follow up a month later
  • repeat yearly, don't do it more often

Avoiding boredom and burnout

• understand what motivates each of your direct reports

  • learn their aspirations and make plans to achieve

• life story

  • starting with kindergarten, tell me about your life

  • tell me about x decision and why you made it

  • look for motivations

    • boredom,
    • having a team
    • career growth
    • Challenge

  • don't press if they seem uncomfy

• dreams

  • (we don't want an overly professional idea)
  • not about promotions

• make sure values and dreams align

• make they start asking

  • what do I need to learn to move in the directions of my dreams
  • how can I prioritize ^
  • whom can I learn from
  • How can I change my role to learn it

Results

• Radical candor notes.md Displaying Radical candor notes.md.